The One Decision Keeping You From Feeling The Love

Happy Valentines Day! Regardless of what you think about this “Hallmark” holiday, you want to FEEL loved today. Did you get that perfect gift, book those reservations, set to mood for love and celebrate your valentine? So much hype, so much pressure to get the perfect gift. Truth be told, if your relationship is in trouble, it doesn’t matter how perfect the gift you receive is, its probably not gonna save your relationship.


Because, love is not a gift.


As you fall asleep tonight your valentine may have really dropped the ball on a romantically charged experience. I have good news for you. Even if today doesn’t FEEL very good, romantic or loving, your relationship might still be ok.


Because, love is not a feeling!


When our gift bombs or we don’t FEEL loved, we still have the opportunity to actually LOVE!


Because, Love IS A CHOICE!


After 15 years of marriage, I have had to discover again and again and again that love is a CHOICE! Love is not a feeling! Love is not a gift. Love is not something you fall into. You might think that at some point you “Fell in love”, but you didn’t. You made a choice to love someone and it might have felt good, but it was a choice. Right now you might feel like you have “fallen out of love” with someone. You can’t fall out of love. You can stop choosing to love.

As a pastor I’ve performed many weddings. I Corinthians 13 is often chosen to be read. It says this.


“4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…love will last forever! 


Every couple wants this scripture to be true. Every couple wants to feel that kind of love. You know what? I don’t think I’ve ever accidentally fell into being patience or not jealous or demanding? I don’t think I’ve ever accidentally not given up or endured  through a hardship? The only way these statements about love have become true, is because I choose to do them.


This valentines day, if my wife Julie is going to experience the gift and the feeling of love, it will be because she is able to put my name into this scripture. Can she say,


“Daron is patient and kind. Daron is not jealous or boastful or rude. Daron does not demand his own way and he’s not irritable. Daron doesn’t give up on me, he never loses faith in me, he always hopes in me and he endures through every circumstance. 


The only way the people we love will be able to say and feel those things about us, is if we CHOOSE TO LOVE THEM. It doesn’t matter if we FEEL like loving them. If we love them, we will choose to love them even when we don’t feel like it.


And here’s my Valentines Day challenge for us all. Start choosing to love this week and I promise you before you know it, you will start to feel the love.



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I am a speaker, radio host, and entrepreneur. I start new things and speak about helping people find peace, purpose and passion in this life and the next. I’m also known as “The Pub Pastor” and the leader and founder of Pub Theology.


  1. Awesome “preaching” as always!! Thanks and hope you and Julie have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!!

  2. Yep! I couldn’t agree more! ?
    Thanks for sharing.

  3. Great words and scripture you’ve shared. Thankful you and Julie found each other in this crazy world. Our God is an awesome God!!

  4. Well said! Good thoughts and challenges.

    We love and appreciate you Daron and Julie!

    Brenda (and Keith) Bowman

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