How to seek guidance, find peace, and embrace God’s wisdom.
Embark on a soul-enriching journey with us in this podcast episode, as we tackle the challenge of aligning our faith-driven convictions with the tug of our emotions.
Daron explores profound insights and real-life examples that address the common quandary of when our thoughts and feelings diverge.
Join us for a meaningful conversation on how to seek guidance, find peace, and embrace God’s wisdom when our minds and hearts seem to be in different places.
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Do you actually understand the scriptures as a place where you’re, you, you’re not just filling the blank in with whatever your lived experience is. And if that’s the case, it could be great for you to jump into some maybe there’s some great, you know, you can read the Bible through a year. You can reach out and get together with a group of folks. Maybe your church has a, a Bible say that goes through the word of God in a year or just a regular Bible study. We can start to grow in your head, knowledge of God
Tagline: Created on purpose and for purpose.
Welcome back to the Daron Earlewine Podcast. So glad to have you here, whether it is on YouTube, whether it’s on Spotify, Apple Podcast, however you participate in this podcast, in the podcast community. So stoked that you’re with us and we’re cruising right along in this frequently asked question podcast series. I wanna thank you guys that have sent in questions throughout this summer. I appreciate it. And if you’ve got more, maybe say, Hey, this thing’s I, I’ve loved it. I, I’m, I feel the momentum here. Daron please send your questions in, we’ll, we’ll, we’ll add ’em in in, in, in future series, or we’ll dedicate and, and do another month, just the questions that come from all of you as faithful listeners. And we thank you guys so much for downloading, and please share it. Please send us some reviews if you have time to review the podcast.
It makes a difference as we’re just trying to continue to reach more people and awaken them to become who they were born to be. All right, here’s the next question that came in, and I think this one kind of builds a little bit actually off of the last question we just did in the last episode about why is it so hard to trust God? But this, this one, I love the way they asked this question, and it made me think of some, some pretty I think what could be some pretty helpful answers and some growth paths for you. So that’s why we focus on it. Here’s the question, here comes, right, what do you do when your heart is in one place and your mind is in another place? They are not working together? Great question, right?
What do you do when your mind’s in one place and your heart’s in another? And I think, honestly, this is the one of the biggest struggles of, of finding motivation to actually do and accomplish almost anything in life, right? You wake up in the morning and it’s like, you know your mind, right? Your mind’s like, man, I gotta really get up and get outta bed and go work out, right? But then, like, your body is like your heart, your body, whatever’s kinda like no, these covers are warm, we’re staying here. Or it could be the other way around. Like you emotionally are feeling like, man, I really want accomplish these goals and this is gonna be great, and I really feel inspired by this. But all of a sudden your brain jumps in. It’s like you’ve got, maybe you’ve got a lot of doubts in your brain.
Maybe you have a lot of negative thoughts in your brain, right? Then you can’t do that. You’re too dumb, you’re too slow, you’re too whatever. And all of a sudden you find yourself like, I’m trying to be motivated, but I’ve got my heart and I’ve got my head, and then I’ve got my body and I, and I kind of wanna expand the question to to just another element to be able to kind of include the answer that I have for you, okay? Because it’s not just your, your mind, and it’s not just your heart. What you might say is your, your thinking and your feeling, but it also, I think you, you, you have a third part of you, which is, is I’m gonna say your body or what we might call your gut, right? And when, when I read this question, it immediately began to, to make my mind think about some of the, the, the, the learning and the discovery you get as you go through the spiritual d n a online course.
Once you can, you can get information about spiritual d n a on my website. Just go to daronearlewine.com. There’s information to, to, to take the course. If you haven’t yet, you wouldn’t know potentially your Enneagram type, which your Enneagram type gives you insight into your why, which are your motivations, what is motivating you to do or not do in your life, and what fears, what hurts, what traumas are actually kind of undergirding some of those motivations or demotivations that contribute to why you are or are not becoming who God has created you to be. If you haven’t checked that out after this episode, I strongly, strongly, strongly encourage you to head over to spiritualdna.me, check out the course, or you can just go to daronearlewine.com. Both will work very well.
The Sioux Indians, right, they believe that the longest journey we make in this life is from the head to the heart.
This is also the longest spiritual journey we can make. It is the pilgrimage of prayer. We think of the heart as emotional, and it is, but it’s also very spiritual. You may have heard that right? The longest 18 distance, 18, the longest 18 inches in the world is between your head and your heart. And it’s so true. It’s so difficult to, to get those to, to, to team up, to bring yourself into a sense of, of congruence, to bring yourself into a sense of, of being whole and how you think and how you feel. Scripture that kind of speaks a little bit to the idea of, of our minds and our hearts. I’d like this one from 2 Corinthians 4: 4 and 6 from the NIV. It says, the God of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers.
God who said, let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. And this passage for me, gives me an instructive kind of insight and hope that, that there is a real disconnection. ’cause The God of this age, right, the enemy, he’s blinded the minds of unbeliever should not see, to not be able to connect with what God’s doing. But when we come into a relationship with Christ, and, and the Holy Spirit begins to enter our life, he’ll actually allows his light to shine in our minds and in our hearts, right, to actually bring us into congruence, into our life, to be able to step into step above this, this issue. Okay? And on this on this thought, found an article written this week by Pastor Collins Smith that talks a little bit more about how our heads can be disconnected.
He says it like this, the blindness is in the mind, and God cures that by shining his light into the heart. God’s light in the heart brings sight to the mind. This is very important to understand for, for, for understanding yourself. What you think, what you feel, what you want and what you do are all bound up together. Your mind and heart are distinguishable but inseparable. Maybe you’ve heard something like this. The longest journey is through is, is the 18 inches from your head to your heart. Think about what that’s saying. What you think and what you feel are totally different. They’re disconnected a long way apart. This leads people to say things like, the gospel is in my head, but it isn’t in my heart. If you feel like the gospel really hasn’t changed you, you’ll be tempted to keep looking for some kind of emotional experience that will, the problem isn’t that truth?
Isn’t that the truth needs to take to make a long journey from the head to the heart? The problem is that the truth in the mind isn’t big enough or real enough to capture the heart. So it makes very little difference how a person actually lives. You might begin by asking a person who feels this way, tell me about the Christianity that’s in your head. This is something that I have for people say, right? Is that I, I, I have this some, some knowledge about God, but I just don’t feel it. I don’t really feel God in my life right now. So I feel like my head and my heart are disconnected. A great place to start is in the head, as Pastor Smith is saying here, as you look at that, what is your actual knowledge base of God and who he is, right?
Do you actually understand the scriptures of a place where you’re you? You’re not just filling the blank in with whatever your lived experience is. And if that’s the case, it could be great for you to jump into some maybe there’s some great, you know where you can read the Bible through a year. You can reach out and get together with a group of folks. Maybe your church has a, a bible say that goes through the word of God in a year or just a regular Bible study. You can start to grow in your head knowledge of God, right? And I would trust your knowledge of God above your feelings. We’ve talked about that before in the podcast, right? That emotions great copilots, right? They’re great companions, but they’re terrible leaders. Your emotions are terrible leaders of your life. They’re great companions.
And so if you’re at a place where you go, man, my head and my heart, don’t really feel it right now, choose your head, not your heart or your emotions. If you look at long-term relationship that you need to work through being a parent, listen, there are a lot of times that I have to decide with my head what I know is right, not my heart. When I was parenting my kids as a little kid, right? Because the heart, the emotions were telling me some really, really negative things about how annoying that two-year-old little baby was, right? And I had to come back to place, okay, what do I know is right? What do I know I need to do? Like, let, let me go with my head here. My heart will catch up in the moment. I think that was actually one of the weirdest things as a dad.
And no one prepared me for, no one told me this when I was first having my, my son, my oldest son Cole was born and happy birthday to Coley turns 19 this week. 19 years ago. Like I’d thought my son’s gonna be born and I’m immediately gonna have just amazing emotional heart feel, just love. I’m just gonna feel so loving for him. It’s gonna be overflowing. People say all this stuff about babies and whatever. So you show up and then, then you have all the expectations. Like, I’m a dad now, this is my baby. I should feel every great deep, full-heart emotion I’ve ever felt for anything in my life. More than that. Like he, he should get more than everything. Then the baby comes up and it’s like exciting sort of, but it’s terrifying ’cause they’re born and like you’re like, are they gonna die?
Are they gonna live? What’s happening? And like, is my wife gonna be okay? Then they show up and then like that first night you don’t sleep. ’cause They come in and they test your wife, they test you, they’re checking on the baby, all these different things. Now you’re sleep-deprived more than you were. And you go into this first couple weeks with this baby where basically it’s kind of like living with somebody who doesn’t speak your language and is drunk all the time, drunk and mad, okay? And like, they’re destroying your wife’s life. You can’t sleep like you don’t know how to fix ’em. You don’t know how to make anything stop. They can’t ever tell you that they love you or do anything nice. In fact, they’re basically blind at this point. So they don’t even know when it’s you walking into the room.
And it takes about two, three weeks of that for you to go. Like my head and my heart are a little bit disconnected here. Like, I just wanna sleep. I, I think, I feel like I love you, but I kind of wanna see if maybe we could give you to a family for six to eight weeks and bring it back when you recognize me. Maybe you don’t scream and cry as much and my wife doesn’t wanna like, like this is real, okay? We’re gonna do a new PO podcast series called Real Parenting. But Daron, I’m gonna tell you what to really believe and be ready for when you have that little baby. Now, are there moments like, I remember when Cole was born, I’ll tell a great story for all the ladies in the audience that think now I’m a jerk. ’cause I said mean things about babies, .
I remember when Cole was born, he was crying and they, they put him in the little you know, little heating lamp thing in Maji. Looks like a chicken coop. Not really, but you know what I’m saying. Got the, the warmer light and he’s crying. I mean, they just literally was born. They take him and wipe him off, whatever they take him to cut the bill court, put him in the thing, and he’s crying. And I walk over and I, I remember just setting my, my hand on like his whole upper torso. And right as I set my hand on his, on his, on his chest. And I said, I said, Hey Cole. I said, it’s your dad. Like, he stopped crying and he couldn’t see me ’cause his eyes saw all that Gump they put in his eye. Plus he’s blind ’cause he’s a little baby anyway, but he looks kind of towards, turns his ear towards my voice.
And it was this like overwhelming heart-filling moment of like, like, I love this little boy. Like this is my son and whom I’m well pleased and I just had this amazing Holy Spirit moment and my heart filled up. It was kinda like, you know, the Grinch scene at the end when the Grinch’s heart grows two sizes that time. It’s like if there was animation that would happen, like my heart filled up for love for this little baby. But then, you know, three or four days later, like the head knowledge and the heart knowledge didn’t match up. ’cause Like I said, chaos broke out. So you have these moments and you have these moments with God all the time. And that’s okay, right? I want to equip you a little bit with what to do and how to know probably which one’s going to be more difficult for you.
And this comes back like I was talking about with the Enneagram, okay? The Enneagram has these things called stances and the stances, right? Show us what we dominantly use to take in info of the world based on our center of intelligence. The center of intelligence are, are head, heart, and gut within the Enneagram. Those are broken into three different triads. If we’ve done any work with that, you know, if not, it’s time to go take spiritual d n a and begin to dive into that process. So, so they’re, they’re centers of intelligence and what we are re what we’re, I’m sorry. Based on our center of intelligence and what we are repressed in, what we unproductively use or have the least access to when it comes to processing that info. Info, the order of our center of intelligence are domain support and repressed, not domain I can’t read today.
Dominant, dominant support and repressed, right? The dominant is the, the one of which we prefer to use. I’m a type seven, okay? I’m in the head triad, so I prefer to use thinking, I’m always thinking, I’m always processing new ideas, fun stuff. We should do what could happen. Innovative stuff here. I I’m brain is constantly going, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. Okay then I do. That’s my support, right? I think then I do, for me, my repressed or unproductive stance of my life is feeling emotion. I don’t feel negative things. I don’t really like to feel things, things I just don’t really feel unless it’s kind of fun. Like, I actually cried yesterday. It was great. I told my wife this thing happened, God blessed our family and I was telling someone about it and all of a sudden I’m on the phone and I’m crying and it like, I felt so great and it came out. I told my wife, I was like, honey, I just cried on the phone. And she was like, oh my gosh, you’re growing up .
But I am feeling repressed. So for me is I can get into this situation, Daron, what do I do? In my head, in my heart, they feel disconnected. Well, what I know about myself now, if I don’t know that I’m just shadowboxing my life, I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t seem to get connected. I dunno what is, and then the devil can come in and it’s ’cause you don’t trust God. You’re probably a jerk, stupid sinner. You hate yourself. Whatever the stuff the devil comes in and tells you, if you are a really, if you’re a really good husband, if you’re a really good hu you know, dad, if you’re a really good friend, if you’re a really good Christian, you would feel more, you would have this, oh, I’m right, you’re right. I, god shouldn’t love me. ’cause All these things we get going in our head, I’m equipped with knowing I know who, how, who God’s made me to be.
I know the things have how he’s wired me. I’m a type seven. So what’s gonna happen? I’m gonna be feeling repressed most of my whole life until I can grow and mature in it. Okay? Knowing your type is gonna help. Let me give you some, some overviews and then I’ll, I’ll, I’ll dismiss the class for you to go to do your homework on understanding why your head and your heart may struggle to get connected. All right? The doing repress, if you’re a type four, a type five or a type nine, you are doing repressed and can also be interpreted as action repressed or instinct repressed. Now here’s the deal. This doesn’t mean that doing repressed people don’t take action. They do. If you’re a four or five or nine, it’s not like you just sit around all day and don’t ever do anything you’re doing repressed, right?
Because oftentimes what what happens is you don’t know how to do productively, okay? You don’t know how to do productively in that, okay? That, that, that doesn’t mean that you don’t know how to think. It doesn’t mean that you don’t know how to feel. But for you, if you’re a type four, five or nine, you may have a connection, right? You may be like, man, I kind of feel like my head and my my heart are connected. But it’s tough for me to actually get momentum to do the thing that I actually think and feel, right? Doesn’t mean you’re bad, doesn’t mean that you’re broken, doesn’t mean that you have some major issues. It’s just you need to educate yourself on knowing, okay, this is how God’s created me. How do I connect my head, my heart, and my body to actually become who God’s created me to be?
Okay, here we go. Threes type three, seven, and eight, they’re all feeling repressed, okay? We’re all feeling repressed. So you say, okay, listen, you know, I’m ready to go. I’m ready to do, bodies are ready to happen. Let’s go. If you’re around a three or a seven or an eight, you’re a no. They’re an aggressive stance person. They move towards people. They’re out there, they’re loud sometimes they’re controlling. They like to, you know, they, they’re, they’re, they’re, they’re zestful in life. Problem is they’re feeling repressed. So it’s tough for them to connect their head and their heart. They think about stuff, they do stuff, they forget to actually feel things. Okay? So why is it sometimes hard tough time to be disconnected there to your head in your heart? ’cause You may be a three, seven or an eight, right? Okay. Then you have the ones, the twos and the sixes.
Type one, type two and type six. If you’ll notice, what’s interesting about these and and this stance work is those are not the triads. If you’re familiar with the Enneagram, right? You know that the guts, the gut folks are the eights, the nines and the ones, sorry, your heart are two threes and fours and your heads are five sixes and seven. Okay? So you’ll see that these aren’t the triads. ’cause You look at and you go, you can say, wait a second. So thinking repress, this is the next one are one, twos and sixes. You’re like, wait a second, they’re ones and twos are together, but the sixes are down there in the thinking triad. And then how in the world like that doesn’t make sense? Well it does ’cause this is a little bit of a deeper nch on the crae, but it’ll help you if you’re a type one, you’re type two, you’re type six, you’re thinking repressed, right?
Remember that thinking repressed does not mean that these types don’t think they do. Doesn’t mean you’re dumb. You think it simply means that these types do not make use of that center. They did not use their thinking productively. Okay? That’s why if you talk about a type two type twos feel everything, right? Their heart is connected to all things, but a lot of times they don’t know how to actually take those emotions and think about them productively to know, okay? That’s one of the reasons if you work with a type two, they’re gonna have a difficult time saying no and they’re gonna get over over-committed because they’re gonna feel like, I wanna just go and I wanna love, I want to help. And all of a sudden before you know what, I’m drained out and I feel taken advantage of and now I’m mad and now I feel like I’m a martyr to everybody and then life falls apart.
Not all the time, I’m just saying there’s a caricature of it, right? But they struggle to think productively. So if you’re a one, two or a six, you say, man, why is my heart my head disconnected? Well, it could be because your heart over over functions and sometimes you gotta learn to think productively. Okay? What if that’s, you say, okay, DARM, that makes sense. Gimme something a little, little place to go with this. So what do I do? Here’s what you do. You find a buddy, okay? Find a friend that’s gone through spiritual d n a as well and they know who they are in God’s kingdom. They know why they do what they do. They know what they do better than 33 men, other people and they know where they wanna serve to make the greatest impact on life. Get together with that buddy and find or listen, are you an opposite of you?
Like if I am doing repressed, find a friend, right? That’s feeling repressed this, that that’s not doing. Repressed. If you’re feeling repressed, find somebody that’s not feeling repressed. If you’re thinking repressed, find another type friend that’s the other and say, Hey, I need you to help balance me out, okay? Because I want my head, I want my heart to be connected and this is gonna be a challenge for me. But if I can get some help and I can know what I’m working with, I know that God can connect that and actually move me forward into the relational situation I need to be in to become who I was born to be. Okay? A little behind-the-scenes cheat sheet there. I know you thought I was gonna give you some kinda like spiritual, super spiritual answer and there is a spiritual answer, but a lot of it is understanding who God’s created you to be so that you can know how you grow and how you step into that.
Okay? Listen of love trying to answer these questions for you. If you have any questions, hit me back, let me know. You can email me Daron@blackbirdmission.com. You can text me 317-550-5070 or hit me up on social. I’m on all of them and would love to interact with you a little bit more. Thanks so much for doubting this episode until we talk again. Remember, God’s for Not Against You. He’s near you, not far away. He’s created you on purpose and for a purpose. Talk to you guys next time right here, the Daron Earlewine Podcast.